We all fear the death of someone we love, and for good reason. This is one of life’s most difficult experiences. In the first few days, you feel like you’re not going to survive. What can you expect if this happens to you and how should you deal with it?
What to expect shortly after a loved one’s death
It’s normal to feel numbness and shock. It is difficult to comprehend the magnitude of the event, or the impact it will have on your life. This is actually a useful feeling – the numbness allows you to sort things out, so you can focus on important decisions and actions.
You may experience a spiralling of emotions. You might feel angry, miserable or guilty. Or you could feel confused, fearful, hopeless, anxious, or vulnerable. Sometimes you will feel multiple emotions all at once, or you may move from one to the next at an accelerated pace.
What to do when a loved one dies
Allow yourself to feel the emotions without allowing anyone else to judge you. You can cry when you feel like it, without having to apologise. You can also smile or laugh. This will support you. Find a way of naming, expressing and slowly completing your experience. It can be helpful to write in a diary, use music or hobbies, or talk with others who “get” it. When you feel ‘I need someone to talk to’, visit https://someonetolisten.co.uk
Don’t be afraid to accept help, you can always return the favour when things have calmed down. Accept help. Take care of yourself and comfort your fragile self. You must also be patient. Nobody expects you to get over this in a week, or even in a year.